In our society, many people have a tendency to rely on external factors to measure their self-worth and value. Unfortunately, this often leads to feelings of inadequacy and a comparison with those perceived to have more or be more successful. This can create an unending cycle of never feeling “enough” because no matter how we measure ourselves against others, we are likely to find someone who surpasses us in one way or another – whether it be in terms of beauty, wealth, or fitness. In order to break this cycle, it is essential to refocus our attention on our internal belief system and not on external validation.
It is essential to assume responsibility for ourselves in order to instigate changes. Knowing the influence present within us to create our stories and recognize our true identities is necessary. Acknowledging our value eliminates the requirement of external validation. There can be no transformation until the individual embraces their story and authentically understands themselves. Turning away from the idea that outside approval is necessary for true acceptance will enable one to regain control of their path. Taking control of our narratives helps reclaim our strength and allows us to create our own conclusions. The journey begins with you.
Despite being used to repeating unhealthy habits and behaviors, ultimately it does not make us feel good about ourselves. Our brains may be familiar with habitual actions however it is not indicative of whether or not they are beneficial. In order to begin the process of changing these habits, there are some essential steps to follow.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
- Ask yourself some key questions. Do you really want to change? Are you committed whatever it takes to make the change? Are you ready to give up and let go of something that no longer serves you even if it makes you uncomfortable? Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone? Are you willing to move through the fear to get to the other side?
2. Own your own stuff. We can’t change anything unless we own it first. For example, if you want to create healthier relationships, then it’s important to take an inventory of how you have contributed to the issues. Maybe you need to improve your boundaries, how you communicate or your negativity. Growth happens when we are uncomfortable.
3. Write down possible solutions. When you say, “I don’t know.” I challenge you to look deeper. I believe we don’t give ourselves enough credit and we often have a gut feeling and talk ourselves out of it.
4. Watch the self-talk. This can be the key killer to making change. The more negative self-talk, the more we won’t attempt to make a change. Write out the negative statement and then the opposite statement. We are not our thoughts.
5. Inaction keeps you stuck. Not taking any steps, even if they are baby steps, will keep you stuck. Try doing things differently every day. Make an intention to focus on what you want. Keep trying. Never give up. You are worth it!
Reconnection 